"And, what do you say?" I hear myself say at the bakery when my son is offered a piece of currant bread. "Thank you welllllll" then comes out of his mouth neatly. It seems like the perfect picture: you get something- so the appropriate response is to show gratitude. But what does gratitude actually mean? Is it something we only perceive when something tangible is given? Is a gift always accompanied by gratitude? I decided to investigate.
Brother David Steindl-Rast talks in an article about happiness and the relationship to gratitude. What we all have in common is that we would all prefer to be happy. But when does gratitude come into play? Sometimes it is claimed that when you have everything, enough money to live nicely - gratitude will logically follow. But is that true? I know plenty of people who have a bill you'd say you'd be up against, but who still complain day and night.
So we could say that when there is enough money in possession, there is no immediate question of gratitude. Conversely, something else happens...
When there is gratitude, a feeling of happiness follows. But when is there gratitude? Gratitude arises from a valuable experience, a gift that is freely given. It's not deserved, it's created. When there is gratitude in the heart, happiness will follow. Brother David explains that gratitude is not something that is only noticeable once a month, for example, but is a lifestyle that can be taken to us at any time. "Any time? Isn't that a bit much?"
He explains that every moment is given to us freely. Even in difficult events. The feeling of gratitude may be hard to find, but it can be something like the patience it teaches you, bringing people together, or the gratitude for life itself. There is an opportunity in every moment.
"Yes nice..." "But how?"
Brother David indicates that there is an easy way to stir up gratitude.
STOPPER
GARLIC
GO
Stop to still, to be in the moment.
Stop to see what's happening in front of you at that moment. People are often rushed by everything they have to do, or what they think they have to do.
See What the moment brings. What chance does it give you?
And Go! Go along with it. Enjoy THAT moment that has been given.
Is it not possible at that moment? No fear! There will be many more moments to come - as long as you still, look and go along with the moment.
Children are king in that. The moments where I hurriedly let my child put on his shoes, the moments where I sped up my stride down the street and had to follow my child because the laundry still had to be done... I can think of countless.
Of course, there are times when stillness is not possible - getting to school on time is important. But to be fair, there are also plenty of times when the prio list can best be adjusted. Children can learn a lot from us. So slow down and find peace and gratitude in the moment.
We, in turn, can also give children a lot in the field of gratitude. We can make children aware of gratitude in a different way than just saying the words: "Thank you!". What is of great importance is becoming aware of the feeling of happiness that it brings about.
Did the child play wonderfully with a friend? Discuss the feeling of that moment and express gratitude to the other person together. Does he get a gift from grandma that he will immediately play with? Discuss the feeling and express gratitude to Grandma. Do you laugh at a game together? Express the feeling and give gratitude an anchor. This way you ensure that it is not only the words that are called forced but lead the feeling of gratitude.
Gratitude creates a feeling of "enough" as opposed to a feeling of "scarcity." People who experience a feeling of "sufficient" are more likely to share and care for each other.
With the piece of currant bread in hand, we walk through the cheerfully decorated streets. "Very sweet of that lady, that she wanted to share with us.. That makes me really happy!' I breathe a sigh of relief. Very sweet baby. I'm grateful for that.
Until next time
Love Hannah